Politics or something like it...

So I decided to take time out of my busy school schedule to put some thoughts down.

My colloquium (a fancy way to say "seminar") class is in US Economic History specifically focused on The Public Interest. So my professor has assigned us various readings on different topics all relating to what constitutes the "public interest".

This week our reading is on the rise of the New American Right, which for all you non-history buffs arose, largely, out of Orange County, CA in the 1960s.  But this week is also the week where myself and a couple others have to bring in extra documents (specifically articles) discussing this topic as recently as today. So in reading all this literature on the New Right I find that my opinion still stands as:  The ONLY position a political leader should take is a Moderate one.

This is why:

What I've been thinking about lately...

So, I haven't written in a while and so far I haven't written much about school.  Probably should, it is a very central part of my daily life.  Takes up more time than anything else, save for parenting.  With that said here's some food for thought:

                           Writing is Thinking, anything else is just Daydreaming

That was the profound statement my professor made the other day in class.  I believe I have heard the first part before, "writing is thinking", but it never really hit me until he stated that.  So I began thinking, er, daydreaming about it.   Of course once I begin to actively apply my critical thinking skills, my brain won't shut off!  I end up laying in bed contemplating the wonders and mysteries of life and the universe until some ungodly hour. So what did I decide to do?

Relationships

Been thinking a lot about relationships lately... So this is just some of my random thought process in words.  Why?  Because its a fascinating subject. One that is both very personal and very general at the same time.  So much "relationship advice" can cover the majority of relationships.  Communicate. Be Honest. Give and Take Equally. Be Good to Each Other.  And so on and so forth, and its advice applicable across the board whether a romantic bond, a friendship, a familial association, many have the same kind of traits and same kind of rules.  But the one that fascinates me the most, as it probably does most people, is the romantic one.

I just marvel at the extent of people to "need" another person.  To feel needed, to feel wanted.  So much so that you see expressions of desire to points where its either super disgusting or ridiculously pathetic.  Teenagers seem to demonstrate both these things far exaggeratedly, especially on Facebook with their lamenting words like: "Oh I can't stop thinking of you. I NEED you.", "I can't live without you I miss you so much", etc... I just wonder at where this need, this desire comes from to have someone there.  Why do we feel it?  Because we all do, some of us more than others.  But, my big question is: is it really necessary? Do we really need to have someone to "complete" us?  Can't we be complete on our own?  Wouldn't that be better anyway?

Self-Esteem and Body Image

We live in a very individualistic culture and because of that how we see ourselves is very important.  Self-esteem and body image are both things that many people obsess over, and as much as I try to deny it, I do too.  As kids we don't really think about ourselves in the same way as we do as teenagers and adults.  For example as a kid, my biggest concerns were that I didn't get to have name brand stuff like many of my school mates or that I wasn't growing boobs by the 5th or 6th grade like other girls. Then as a teen I was a teeny-tiny 100lb thing, I could eat enough for 4 people and not gain a pound, my clothes were so small that a friend once referred to them as "doll clothes",  and I was continually being told how cute and little I was. And I took all the positive for granted.  For me I was never good enough, never "hot enough", didn't have the flattest abs or best physique.  Boys didn't like me like they did other girls.  My nose was too big.  My chest was too small.  My hair wasn't pretty enough... and on and on and on.  Superficial and ridiculous.  But have I really changed all that much as an adult?

Probably not.

From Jail to Forgiveness: A Year in Review

For most people April 23rd is just another spring day, but for me, this year, it marked the end to a very challenging and life changing year.  By writing this down it is my intent to finally close the book on this chapter of my life, I have spent enough of my time dealing with the issues of this last year and it now the time has come to go forward.  I must cry my final tears of grief over this situation and put it neatly away on the bookshelf of my life.

If you have ever been accused of something you didn't do and had punishment inflicted on you for it, then you can understand what I'm about to relate.  After years of trying to make a relationship work that just wasn't meant to work, my ex-husband and I decided to separate towards the end of 2009.  Because of economic reasons we had decided to stay living together until we could figure things out.  It was my thought, and plan, that come the end of the school year for both he and I and our daughter that we would finally move apart.  In the interim he and I distanced ourselves from each other's lives.  It was a difficult thing to do since we still had to live with each other and have so much history together; but after years of tolerating many things I didn't agree with, I knew that it was the right choice.  So did he.  This was something I believed to be a mutual agreement between us. When I started spending more time away from home because that was where he was, he supported it.  Told me that it helped him to better "deal with me", and in fact it did make life easier.  Looking back now I should have moved out as soon as possible, should not have let fear dictate my life.  But I did, and I told myself over and over again as the warning signs surfaced that "it would be fine" that we "had an agreement" that it would "all blow over".  At the time I didn't realize that there was something coming, I was clueless.  And why wouldn't I be?  When we decided that it was time to end our relationship it was with the the intent to remain friends and parent together as we always had.  Despite our differences and our troubles this was still the person I trusted most in the world.  I may not have liked him very much at times, but still, after 7+ years and 2 children I trusted him.  That was until the night of April 23, 2010.