Why can't we all just get along?

So for whatever reason the Universe seems to align itself with the courses I am currently taking.  This time around I am diving head first into Sociology as I check off my last remaining course requirements.  My attention has been turned towards social justice and social inequalities by virtue of one class and social movements by another.  Conveniently for me there is plenty of real-world, real-time events taking place (ie. #occupy).  Still as I study these things one question emerges:

Why can't we all just get along?

It seems like a simple enough question with a simple enough answer.  After all didn't our parents teach us to share, be respectful and mindful of others?  To agree to disagree on issues that become too heated or work to find a shared vision so that we all may benefit as equally as possible?  I know mine did but I guess not everyone was so lucky.

I find myself again and again becoming heated over issues of equal rights and fair treatment of all people.  Maybe its just because those that are the most extreme are the ones yelling the loudest. Regardless there is so much hostility on both sides of these issues that people are failing to see the middle ground.



Lately the media has been focused on civil rights issues like Gay Marriage (Prop 8 in California, the Gay Marriage Bill in Washington and similar issues in Missouri) and Women's Health issues (namely the Susan G. Komen Fondation's removal of funding from Planned Parenthood). These are both issues that I, like many others, have come to feel strongly about.  Still, the point I try to emphasize is not "my side is better than your side" or "my side is right and your's is wrong", but that "we need to do what is BEST for everyone and not just a few".  Of course in this day and age that also counts as a "side".

So where is the middle ground?

I know that is is there in the form of compromise, cooperation and moderation. You know it too. Yet the media facilitates this extreme polarization of the issues and just perpetuates the nonsense.  These ideas of "don't compromise. period" are misleading.  They are leading people to believe that if they seek to find a shared solution to current social problems that they are slapping their beliefs and morals in the face.  In reality this isn't true, compromise is never about changing who you are or what you believe, it's about finding a way to comfortably exist and work with those who may not share your views.

Ironically enough the people who I would expect to champion equal treatment and offer up love and compassion are often the ones who seem the most intolerant of it.  Christians*. Now before you get your "I <3 Jesus" panties in a bunch, let me explain:

What I mean is that the Christian religion, like many other religions, teaches love, compassion and understanding.  It teaches that we should help the sick, not shun them, care for the destitute, not increase their misery, and teach love and understanding through the word of Christ.  Honesty, respect, compassion, understanding and compromise are all tenets found within the teachings of the Bible.

All are admirable values.

But here is where I think Christian values get twisted or lost in translation:  when certain parts of the text are "cherry-picked" as an answer to an uncomfortable question. In this way a seemingly cut-and-dry solution is presented as an answer. "The Bible says ___ so that's what it is." End of discussion. But not really.  Take the issue of homosexuality.  Yes, the Bible says that homosexuality is a sin. Yet, to my knowledge, nowhere does it say that people have a right to judge, hate, beat, berate, abuse, etc. those who are committing a sin (with the exception of stoning disobedient children).  Stop me if I am wrong, but aren't judgement and salvation part of God's job description?  Yes, Christian doctrine teaches that one must witness in order to spread God's word and share their love of God and Jesus with others.  But to me this is key:  The Path to Salvation is Through Christ Alone.  Christ Alone.  Not Rev. Jim-Bob or Mrs. Appleton the head of the ladies relief organization.

So why then is there so much Active hate and judging going on?  I think that what the Bible and its teachings have come to be, to some people, is a scapegoat for their own fears. A"skirt" to hide behind in order mask their unsettled feelings or confusion and justify their actions. Explain away what one does not understand.  It is only natural that we are uncomfortable with things that are new or different to us.  Often times our natural reaction is to hate it, to run from it, to denounce it as wrong or unnatural.  But just because something makes you uncomfortable does not justify harming another person or believing that they shouldn't have access to something you do because they are different from you or object to what you believe.

Example: I don't like eggs. Can't stand the taste, the texture, the smell or the feeling of them.  But just because I don't like eggs doesn't mean that I insist they not be shown on a menu at a restaurant or that I can leave them out of a recipe.  Why?  Because what works for me in my life, does not work for someone else.  My kids like eggs.  I'm not going to teach them to hate them just because I don't like them.  And if I leave them out of a recipe then the whole thing falls apart.  Society is much like that.  We are all interdependent in one way or another.  Whether we want to admit it we need people who are different from us.  We need people who oppose our views or have different values.  We need this diversity because it is the only way that we can grow as people and evolve as a society.

Now back to the topic at hand.

When it comes to human rights and equality we ALL must understand that its a two-way street.  Republicans, Pro-Lifers, Conservative Christians and Homophobes must understand that if they want the right to pursue their lives as they see fit then they must allow Democrats, Pro-Choicers, Liberals, Atheists, and Homosexuals to pursue their lives as they see fit (and vice versa).

To live in a society we must all agree to certain rules otherwise we'd live in a state of anarchy.  These rules are set up to benefit and protect all of society as equally as possible (at least in the United States that is the goal). So in order to have the best benefits for most people we all must sacrifice something.  Pro-Lifers must understand that there are going to be those who do not believe abortion to be murder and have decided, based on the circumstances of their life, that that is the right choice.  Atheists must understand that no matter how adamant they are that there is no God, that Christians still have the right to proclaim that one does exist and publicly announce it.  It's a Two-Way street.  You cannot tell one group they can have something while another cannot.  Just like free-speech.  Sure the Westboro Baptist Church pisses people off when they say "Thank God for Dead Soliders" and picket military funerals, but that is their Constitutional right to do so.  The point is that just because you don't like something or believe in your heart of hearts that it is wrong and even have others who share the same view does NOT make you right.  Just like two wrongs don't make a right, 5 million people agreeing that Elvis is alive does not make it true.

Do you follow my drift?

I want to make it clear that by no means am I telling anybody to stop believing what they believe. Just to understand that in order to have a peaceful, fair and equal society we need to find common ground and agree to get along and do what is best for ALL of society.  We shouldn't have to involve the government in issues concerning personal, spiritual or physical choices.  Do you really want the government coming into your daily life telling you how to live?  Where to send your kids to school? What books to read? What TV shows to watch? What clothes to wear?  What you can and cannot do in the privacy of your own home?  There is a reason why the Founding Fathers created a Bill of Rights.  There is a reason why we value privacy, individual choice and individual freedoms in this country.  All I ask of you is that you take the time to THINK about an issue before following your initial (and probably emotional) reaction to a topic.  Take a deep breath and step outside your world and try to put yourself in the shoes of another person.  If you are pro-life, try to understand the young girl who is seeking an abortion.  If you are pro-choice, try to understand why that person believes abortion is murder.  If you are against gay marriage and homosexuality take a moment and try to understand where that gay couple is coming from.  How they must feel. How you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.  And if you think that being gay is a choice then take a moment to reflect on various choices or preferences in your life... how many of them are conscious choices and how many of of them are just things that just are part of who you are?

All these issues go both ways.  Each side needs to take a moment and reflect on those opposing them.  Try to find shared vision.  Try to put aside the differences in the name of equality and freedom. Remember that we are weakest when we are divided... and there are those out there who actively seek and facilitate this division so that they may press their own agendas unnoticed because those who would oppose them are distracted.  There is a reason why it is called "divide and conquer".



*Disclaimer: When I specify Christians I do NOT mean each and every person who ascribes to this distinction. I also do not mean to disrespect the religion itself nor its followers. My intent is to illustrate an observation I have witnessed in my life based on my background and experiences.  If you do not fall into this then please remove any personal attachment you may have assumed.